Its hard to explain myself sometimes. I get in these moods and I would be totally distant in a matter of seconds. There are times when I'm around people and I won't say a single thing for hours. Its not that I'm shy, its because I don't want to talk to anyone Even if they are my family and friends. I talk only if I have to and even then its a few syllables.
Back to my miserable life. Maybe if I stop trying to live other people's lives, then I wouldn't be so depressed when I come back to reality. I really do wish I could be something in this lifetime. I just want everyone to see that I am Jamie Pham and I am someone who is worth something. I don't want to be another shmuck who lives day to day wishing he is someone else. Kinda like what I'm doing right now. Please help me get out and be something to someone. Mostly just her though because right now, she's all that matters to me. She is my motivation. I got to sleep every night thinking about her. She keeps me warm. But by the morning she is gone. Not to be seen again till that night. My life is cruel. My heart hurts. I am lonely. I wish I could be better. Sometimes I want to cry but nothing comes out. Probably because I am way past that stage. I need serious guidance because some of the things that are going through head is definitely not normal at all.
