I feel like I am falling into a state of depression. I don't feel
anything but the pain and hurt that everyone brings me. The pain that I
bring upon myself. I've never been more lonely in my entire life. I
catch myself sometimes thinking about how my life could of been
different. I fantasize about living another life. But all it does is
put in a deeper depression that is so hard to get out of. When I don't
feel sorry about myself, I feel numb. I don't feel anything at all.. I
can sit there for hours on end thinking about nothing. And there are
sometimes when I'm angry. I can't control myself. I hate when I'm like
this because I snap at everyone that comes in my way. I feel bad about
it, really. There are other times when see homeless people and I just
want to help them so bad but I can't. I see the expression on their
face and I can see myself in them and that's scary. The same thing
wheni see a stray dog. I don't want it to be hungry and afraid. If I
had a large house, I would take in every stray dog I see. I don't want
to see any of them die of hunger.