of course i want to leave. i dont want to stay here anymore but i just saw the look in her eyes and she wasnt mad or disappointed.. she was sad. i mean, i really dont want to leave. but she just drives me insane. to a point where i want to kill myself every time she yells at me. maybe its for the best?

i have an interview at the apple store in pasadena tomorrow. i just applied this evening. the wonders of the internet i tell ya.

im just sick of everything. but most of all, i am sick at myself. i hate how i am still stuck in school.my mom thinks i am going to graduate this year finally. nope, i have a shitty gpa and i am a worthless loser. i seriously hate myself. i think i am going to kill myself just so everyone else can feel better knowing i am gone. and i am not burdening them anymore! just kidding (about the suicide thing)... but i was serious about how i hate myself for not finishing school. this is the motivation i was talking about months ago. this is my fire. my thing to look forward to. but i am more scared of my mom. i dont know what to tell her about when i will be finishing school. i think im gonna make up some random shit and hopefully she goes along with it!